


I Told You Dirty Jokes Until You Smiled

by Geonn



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Edgeplay, Electricity, Historical Inaccuracy, Masturbation, Other, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-23
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 21:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geonn/pseuds/Geonn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nikola finds a better use for Edison's animal killing machine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Told You Dirty Jokes Until You Smiled

**Author's Note:**

> DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME, KIDS. I mean, obviously.

_Remember how I found you there  
Alone in your electric chair?_

Nikola sat down but didn't strap himself in. It wasn't designed for that. No, it was an instrument of execution. He rested his back against the wooden slats and looked down at the arm rests. He supposed it was a measure of compassion that made the chair even slightly comfortable. Men who took this seat would never rise again under their own power. Well, the ordinary men who sat here. The seat was a slab, and there were no features on the arms. He brushed his thumb over the polished wood, following the grain, and closed his eyes.

It was an abomination. He had created an olive branch, and that philistine Edison had coated it with poison and gunpowder. James had thought the device's installation morbid, but Nikola couldn't resist. He had to see the thing which was being used to ridicule his opinions, to touch it with his own hands. And, of course, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to try proving Edison wrong. He closed his eyes and pictured the scene, smiling as the images formed in his mind.

Edison. Blustery with breath reeking of Vin Mariani, demanding Nikola get out of the chair _at once_. He said Nikola was mad. Said that being proven wrong was no reason to commit suicide. Nikola had only stared and waited as the men he'd brought with him ran the straps around his chest and arms. When he gave the nod for the switch to be thrown, Edison had bellowed and called him a madman before spinning away from the sure to be grisly sight.

Nikola tensed as the current ran through him. Oh, he felt it. There was a scent of ozone and copper, and sparks moved in his field of vision as his shoulders jumped and twitched against the back of the seat. He grinned and drummed his fingers on the arm rest. Slowly, the witnesses realized they weren't attending an execution. Edison turned and stared, face ashen, as smoke rose from beneath the cap Nikola wore to protect the pomade in his hair from igniting.

He yawned.

Afterward, Edison convinced all the witnesses that Nikola found some way to fake the execution. Nikola supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. People would never believe the impossible so long as there was a reasonable explanation. The electric chair continued to be used for executions, now criminals sentenced to die. It was considered more humane than hanging, as if calling any method of ending a person's life humane was anything less than an oxymoron.

But the electric chair was still installed in Nikola's laboratory, more often than not draped by a white tarp and filled with detritus that simply didn't fit on any other horizontal surface. But some nights when he needed to clear his head, he would remove everything and settle into its cold embrace. There was always a touch of apprehension as he lowered himself to the seat; he could only imagine how the condemned men felt as they were strapped with finality to the wooden supports. 

Nikola moved his hands to his belt and unfastened it. He dropped it to the side; metal was a bad idea. He may not die, but a burn was a burn and they were a bitch to heal even for a vampire. His pants opened with a row of buttons, all of which he loosened to spread the two halves. He threaded his penis through the opening in his underwear and let it rest against the warm cloth. It looked nestled, swaddled in his pants, and he rested his palms against the arm rests. He pressed his head back against the rubber pillow that would prevent prisoners from trying to bash their skulls against the wood to save themselves from the torturous death.

He felt for, and found, the electricity. It felt like holding his hands underwater and grasping for a fish. When it was isolated, he guided it through the machinery Edison's goons had designed. Electricity coursed through the contacts and into his body, and his spine straightened. His palms slapped flat against the wooden rests, and every muscle in his body went rigid. His heart seized, and dark veins appeared on his throat and face as his vampire aspect came forth to save him from death. 

Dark eyes snapped open. He looked down and saw the tip of his cock engulfed in St. Elmo's fire, a glowing blue orb of energy that danced over the skin of his penis as it became engorged. The electricity ran through him and he growled, focusing its energy to his lap. It was a pleasurable pain, a dancing sort of tremor that never stopped, never let up. His testicles tightened and he bared his dangerously sharp teeth as he lifted his hips off the chair. 

His semen arched away from him when he climaxed, hitting the floor and creating small white archipelagos on the hardwood as he thrust forward. When he was spent, he sank back to the chair and watched the smoke rising from his clothes. He finally pushed himself up, a little weak in the knees as he turned to run a critical eye over the wooden chair.

Somehow using Thomas Edison's pride and joy as a masturbator, taking the very device meant to discredit Nikola's statements, made him feel good. It was demeaning, like using newspaper articles that reprinted Edison's hogwash as a handkerchief. He only wished he could have come on the chair itself. Maybe next time.

As he walked away, he considered carving a hole in the seat of the electric chair and attaching a basin. If it worked well as a masturbatory tool, then it was a small leap to turn it into a toilet.


End file.
